“We are the front line of defense for our children. As their parents we need to be aware of any and all issues that impact their well-being,” said Whippany school parent Ellyn High to Hanover’s Board of Education. High applauds school boards like Hanover, which have adopted parental notification policies, requiring schools to tell parents about students’ sexual orientation or gender identity. It deliberately defies state guidance that protects the privacy of LGBTQ+ students. But High says, “If the school staff is going to keep secrets from us about our children, then they do not have our children’s best interests at heart.”

“We’re not in the business of secret-keeping. We’re in the business of serving kids’ needs,” said Jessica Smedley, who chairs New Jersey’s School Counselor Association. She’s alarmed that several New Jersey school boards — including Colts Neck, Marlboro and Middletown — have scheduled votes on parental notification policies. She says, counselors already follow a duty-to-warn law “that requires us to disclose information about a student’s safety and wellness, if someone is hurting them, if they’re hurting themselves — say they’re going to hurt themselves, or somebody else. Other than that — everything else that student discusses with their school counselor is and should be held sacred.”

Back in May, Hanover’s Board of Education adopted a policy that the state says specifically targets LGBTQ+ students. Attorney General Matthew Platkin immediately filed a civil rights complaint. After a judge temporarily blocked Hanover’s policy, the board revised it. The reworked policy requires parents must be informed “whenever a student discloses an issue and/or exhibits behaviors that may have an adverse impact on the student’s physical and/or mental health, safety and or social/emotional well-being” and adding LGBTQ+ issues alone can’t motivate parental notification.