In New Jersey and across the country, the holiday season is celebrated as a time of comfort and enjoyment, but for many people in recovery from alcohol and opioid use disorder, this time of year can be especially stressful and lonely.  

“We know that people who have substance use problems often experience a lot of stigma and guilt because their substance use disorder has often … wreaked havoc or created problems with family and friends,” said Dr. Danielle Dick, the director of the Rutgers Addiction Research Center. 

Jamie Kelly, a Manville resident who has battled substance use disorder since adolescence, knows these challenges well. Coming from a big family that often drank alcohol during the holidays, Kelly has avoided family gatherings in the past to focus on her recovery. More recently, Kelly celebrated one year of sobriety from alcohol and opioid use.  

Kelly spoke with NJ Spotlight News about her journey through recovery and how other people can manage their sobriety during the holiday season. This story has been edited for length and clarity. 

NJ Spotlight News:  Walk me through your story and your recovery journey. 

Jamie Kelly: My first rehab was 16 (years old) and I was admitted for heroin. From a very young age, I have been battling this. I had a child when I was 18. My mom stepped in and was a big part of helping me with that. I was a baby having a baby.  

Addicts and alcoholics, what we do best is trying to cover up our feelings and the fear of them. And that’s exactly what I did. And it started this whole journey that’s led me to this very moment of battling alcoholism and then battling addiction.  

In the last two years, or really when COVID started, it got really, really bad, probably the worst that it’s ever been in my life. And I had about eight or nine stays in Carrier (Hackensack Meridian Health Carrier Clinic) between 2020 and now.

My whole life, I felt like everybody had this manual to life and that I just did not have that manual. All of the things that happen in my life, I’ve tried to run from and these last two years, each time I went to rehab, I feel like I learned a little bit more and I became a little bit more willing to do what other people told me to do. And October 25th (2023), I celebrated one year.  

NJSN: What advice would you give to people who are also trying to stay sober during this time of year? 

JK: It’s OK for us to have boundaries and still be a good, giving person. And just that any holiday or any day can be tough. The biggest … advice I would give is that you do not have to do any of this alone.  

I am fully involved in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). I’ve always known it was there. I believed it worked for people, but I didn’t think it would work for me. One of the other things that has become so important in my recovery and in my journey was that of a higher power.  

NJSN: How can people navigate work holiday parties who are trying to get sober or who are recently sober? 

JK: Always have a lifeline. Always have an exit plan. Again, reverting to the ‘you don’t have to do it by yourself.’ Just letting somebody know what’s going on (and) where you’re going to be so that they have just a safe exit plan.  

NJSN: What have been the biggest rewards of sobriety during this time of year?  

JK: The biggest reward is the people that I choose to surround myself with now. And those are these amazing women in AA. I’ve started my relationship back with my son and it’s just been such a beautiful journey. It is truly, to think back about my life and how I felt about myself and the world around me before and to think about it now, I’m in such a wildly different place. I don’t think about dying every day. I don’t hate myself anymore. And the most important is (that) I can be of service to other people. I was so unreliable before. I can actually show up for people today and so that’s really where my greatest gratitude comes from. 

Mental health support and discussion groups, among other programs, are being offered for free — virtually — during the holiday season by statewide nonprofit organizations, including the Mental Health Association in New Jersey.  

If you or a loved one are in crisis, please call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.