By Briana Vannozzi
Correspondent
“It was incredibly isolating to be separated from other students like that,” said Rubin Smyers.
Rubin gives us a look into the life of a high schooler, who happens to be transgender. The 16-year-old Ocean County student recently battled his school district for the right to use the boy’s room after they told him he didn’t belong in either the boy’s or girl’s bathrooms.
“I just got really fed up with the situation because I was just using this one unisex bathroom all the way at the other end of the school. And my school, the way it’s set up is two football length hallways stacked on top of each other, so it was incredibly inconvenient,” he said.
So he took to the internet, starting an online petition.
“I posted it on Facebook and I tweeted it a couple times and it was just gathering so much more momentum immediately than I expected it to,” Rubin said.
He says the problem really came to a head before a big choir performance when he was notified he couldn’t use either of the dressing rooms with the rest of the students.
“I was like sitting on the ground in the hallway you know, trying to like do my math homework all by myself,” he said.
Garden State Equality caught wind of his efforts and wrote a letter to Rubin’s school advocating on his behalf. The administration eventually came around. Andrea Bowen says although it’s buried, both New Jersey and federal laws are clear.
“It also says explicitly even in the case of sex segregated facilities people need to be able to use facilities based on their gender identity and expression,” she said.
“What other kid is gonna have to go through this and why? More importantly why? It’s tough enough in our culture for a kid to come out as gay and bisexual and transgender,” said Rubin’s mother, Jolene Smyers.
“If we can all learn and educate ourselves which I think is the most important thing we can do. We can grow from those things,” said PRISM President Kailee Whiting at Rowan University.
At Rowan University, gender neutral bathrooms are popping up all over campus. Three locations so far, with more on the way. Anyone can use them.
“It is incumbent upon a university to create that environment where all people feel safe and all people feel included,” said Dean of Students and Vice President of Student Life at Rowan University Richard Jones.
“I feel like it’s a good support for our community in general,” said Rowan University freshman Kyle Smith.
“I’m more neutral on them because I don’t see them causing a problem except for the more ignorant people who feel that they are truly a problem,” said Rowan University freshman James Hambor.
So what’s the difference between having an “all gender” and unisex restroom? Advocates say it comes down to identity. Gender is the way an individual identifies themselves, while sex is the genetics with which they were born.
“I think that gender neutral language — although it’s confusing to many people — it’s really important to members of the community who would be using these bathrooms,” Whiting said.
“It’s also really important that somehow in the process we start educating the parents. Because, instead of raising the kid you thought you were going to have, raise the one god gave you,” Jolene said.
Rubin has plans to work with Garden State Equality, raising awareness for other transgender students in districts around the state.