By Christie Duffy
Correspondent
Sheila Taylor says she was in an abusive relationship for years. She divorced in 2005.
“I looked at the Lifetime movies and I thought to be a battered woman you had to be beat every day. I didn’t realize there was a cycle of abuse. … Nobody is as nice as a batterer when they’re not battering,” said Taylor, president of NJ Women for Alimony Reform.
She says fighting for a divorce and to avoid costly alimony payments was the worst experience of her life.
“It never entered my mind that someone who you put through college, who has well documented drug and alcohol problems, well documented psych problems, unable to hold a job, I would have to pay alimony to,” she said.
Taylor says she was ordered to pay lifetime alimony — thousands and thousands of dollars — to her former husband. Today she’s fighting for that to end, but not just for herself. She says she met with countless legislators before last week’s new alimony law was passed.
Gov. Chris Christie signed the bill Wednesday.
The new law replaces the term “permanent alimony” with “open durational alimony.” Changes include: limiting payments to the length of the marriage, unless it lasted over 20 years or a judge finds “exceptional circumstances,”; life changes for the person paying — like losing a job or retirement — could also modify alimony payments, as could moving in with a new partner, if you’re on the receiving end of alimony payments.
The new law is not retroactive to divorce agreements made prior to the law.
“I think it’s a reasonable law and the reforms were by and large good reforms,” said certified matrimonial lawyer John Finnerty of the Matrimonial Lawyers Alliance.
Both the New Jersey Bar Association and the Matrimonial Lawyers Alliance say the new law is reasonable. But since its passage, some have questioned if the bill goes far enough.
A bill is currently pending in the state legislature that would prohibit abusers from being awarded alimony at all.
Activists also want guidelines for how much should be paid, based on the length of the marriage.
“Every case is looked at differently because every family, every couple, everyone’s different,” Finnerty said.
Those who want more defined alimony guidelines say they’ve gotten push-back from the Matrimonial Attorneys Alliance and the New Jersey Bar Association.
“That frankly reduces attorneys’ salaries because there is no arguing,” Taylor said.
The state bar argues strongly against that point. And they say blanket alimony reform is what would tie up the courts and cost everyone more money.